you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
