True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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