If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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