I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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