You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
