I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
