I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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