Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
