You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
