Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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