I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I am midnight drunk by noon
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
