'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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