There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
