So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
