dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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