Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
being pregnant is like rehab
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
