Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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