I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
God, I missed his penis.
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