Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
