My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
