This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
COCAINE IS GR8
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
