A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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