You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
