the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
