I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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