Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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