what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the raccoons are back...
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