How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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