I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
