The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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