you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
