her vagine was all disorganized.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
