Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
