So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
