YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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