You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
