Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
