Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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