Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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