If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have already put on my inside pants.
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