Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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