That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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