he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need to calm my uterus...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
