Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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