Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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