just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
