My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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