yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
