There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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