Don't you send me to vm
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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