once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
